When Doing What’s Right For Yourself Isn’t Actually Comfortable

Here’s what to tell yourself

Along the way, as we start making “adult” decisions about work, life, family, friends, we start to confuse our inner voice’s comfort with green lights. It leads us to keep doing things that are bad for us simply we feel comfortable when we do them. We forget that sometimes our inner voice is a little kid who is scared of surprises, newness, or whose survival mechanisms became a new normal they’re afraid to step away from.

Sometimes doing what is right for your adult self isn’t actually what feels the most comfortable.

I’ll give you an example. I am a recovering perfectionist, people pleaser, and self-sacrificing human being. I spent a better chunk of my early twenties putting my family and loved ones’ needs before my own. Now, a day of not answering my phone or of prioritizing my own hobbies or self-care, feels like an uncomfortable experience. Logically, I know thinking about myself isn’t wrong, but emotionally it stirs up my anxiety that I’m stepping out of line.

While having a conversation with a coaching client this week, I realized that it comes down to trust. Our discomfort with the decisions we make is rooted in how much we trust (or do not trust) ourselves. If we’ve spent a long time trusting others first…