What President-Elect Biden’s Empty Schedule On December 18th Reminds Us About Death Anniversaries

My stomach starts hurting on that first week in January. The closer I get to January 10th, the day of my mom’s death, the more my mind starts meeting my body. I’m suddenly in 2003 again. I’m suddenly reliving life as a 10-year-old again. I’m suddenly doing it while also being 14, 21, or this upcoming year, 28.

On December 17th, President-Elect Joe Biden’s team shared that he would have no public events on his schedule on December 18th — the 48th death anniversary of his wife Neilia and his daughter Naomi.

I could understand why. No matter the expectation from those who haven’t lost someone that “you should be over it by now,” time serves a different purpose. It doesn’t add distance from the pain. It doesn’t add space between you and the day. It brings you closer. It offers opportunity to grieve in an intentional way that most years we don’t make time for otherwise, not because grief isn’t there, but because keeping up with life is hard enough.

President-Elect Biden’s decision to empty his schedule of public events was calculated. A death anniversary demands energy, time, and mental capacity. It’s a marathon you can’t stop running even when you physically try to. Sitting down still leaves your mind in full sprint. The next day it’s…