PSA: Stop Trying To Fix Your Problems Before You Go To Therapy

“If you’re going to the hair salon, you have to wash your hair first” — this is what I grew up being told.

Yet, from a young age, I always tended to do the opposite. Going to get a blow out? I walked in with a top knot of mangled curls and day six hair. Going to get a manicure? My nails were chipped and if it’d been a really tough week, bitten down to the core.

The encouragement to always project perfection and leave all baggage behind close doors didn’t seem to stop me from walking in as I was in those moments, but it did get to me just enough to make me feel uncomfortable in my skin whenever I did. I think it has the power to stop so many of us from getting help, pursuing a job, or going on that date because all we hear is that we have to be good enough to live up to the moment instead of learning that moments are malleable. Our lives are daily proof that moments know how to bend and fold so that they can meet us exactly where we are.

This logic shouldn’t be lost when it comes to therapy. To get the help we need, when we need it, we need to believe that there is no magical checklist that when completed gifts us a golden ticket to finally be ready for therapy. You don’t need to wash your hair, untangle your emotions, or Acetone your way to a blank slate in order to benefit from therapy.