Consider This When Getting Back On The Horse Feels Impossible

This isn’t a pep talk to do it

We moved across the country in under a week. While the conversations around a potential move had been a part of our every day for a few weeks they all had a fall timeline attached to them. It’s June 8th and we’ve been back on the east coast for a little under two weeks now, so it’s safe to say plans shifted and we acted accordingly.

For me, acting accordingly meant priorities had to shift quickly and drastically. I went from working towards my goal of writing on here every day to not having the bandwidth to write at all. Even my signature on shipping receipts became a squiggle where my full name used to be.

In some ways it felt like a huge part of my identity was missing. I was a writer who didn’t have time or the emotional wherewithal to write. In other ways it tore me open and forced me to pinpoint what grounded me, how I dealt with failure, and how I wanted to move through change.

Today is my first day back at my laptop and with my words. All I can think about is how empty the phrase “get back on the horse” is when your horse already left the stall and turns out you don’t actually want it back. We’re encouraged to “get back on the horse” as a way to keep the status quo, continue on the same path, and work…