A Series: Things I’m Glad I Didn’t Do Before I Turned 30

On kids

I’m a little over a month away from turning 30 years old. This time last year, I pulled together a list and on the top of the page wrote, “30 Things I Want To Do Before I Turn 30.” The list included things like zip-lining, mastering 4 recipes, paying off my debt, and a lot of book related items. Now that I’m closer to turning 30, I’m thinking more about the things I’m glad I didn’t do before I turned 30.

Top of my list is — I’m really glad I didn’t have kids before I turned 30. Motherhood, caregiving, and childbearing are personal choices, so this only applies to my own perspective and lived experiences.

My point of view starts with my own mom. A brown haired, 5 foot tall woman who passed away when she was 44 years old and I was 10 years old. It’s been almost two full decades since the last time we saw each other and it’s a chapter of my life I’m only just properly processing.

In therapy, I spent the first half of my year discussing whether I would ever want to have kids at all. (This article really helped.) Now, I’m spending the second half of my year discussing my relationship to my own mother. (No articles for that.)

And the biggest question I’m asking right now is the reason I’m glad I didn’t have a kid before I turned 30 — like…